DVBK

It’s never too late to make a change in your life for the better.

Nobody likes to be called an abuser. Unfortunately, that is how the world sees you when domestic violence charges are brought against you, whether those charges are true or not. It’s also an accurate term if you know you actually physically abused someone you are close to. These are facts that are hard to accept when you first get charged with domestic violence crimes, so we’re going to look at how to handle your situation below.

1. Understanding The Law
2. Avoiding Denial
2. Determining Your Innocence
3. Plea deal or trial?
4. Navigating Life After Conviction

Avoiding Denial: Did You Abuse Someone?

It’s hard for many people to believe, but something as small as spitting on another person is considered assault in a court of law. With that in mind, try to think of all the times your arguments with the alleged victim got physical in some way, even if it seemed very minor at the time. Did you shove them? That is assault and battery. Did you slap their arm? That is assault and battery. Did you pick up a bottle and, not saying a word, look at them angrily and act like you were going to hit them with it? That’s assault with a deadly weapon.

Many actions you take that seem small to you, especially if they didn’t result in anyone getting hurt, are still crimes in the eyes of the law. That’s why it’s important to evaluate your own actions and ask yourself if you really believe you did nothing wrong. There’s nothing worse than being wrong in the eyes of the law since, regardless of whether or not you agree with it, you may end up in jail and your life will go into a tailspin.

Therefore, the first step in seeking help with your situation is to recognize if you have abused someone or, if you feel you have been wrongly accused, determining how you’re going to fight the charges. If you determine that you truly did commit the acts you’re accused of, then you need legal advice to figure out the best path forward legally, and some form of therapy such as anger management or a batterers class to learn the skills necessary to avoid physical confrontations with people.

If you determine that you are absolutely innocent of the charges, then you need to stand tall, stand your ground, and fight the charges in court. Most domestic violence cases these days are he-said/she-said situations with little to no evidence or witnesses to support the accusations.

The second step is to forgive yourself for making the mistake. You cannot force someone else to forgive you, but you will never grow to be a peaceful person if you continue to deny that your actions resulted in another person’s pain.

There are many forms of abuse, but the law in New York recognizes specific actions as being unlawful. Those actions include both physical and verbal abuse, including:
– any physical action you’ve taken which results in another person’s physical harm
– threatening to physically harm or kill someone, also known as “menacing”
– physically stopping someone from leaving your presence
– physically stopping someone from contacting anyone

There are some local groups for people who have become abusers and who have been charged with domestic violence crimes which many abusers have found helpful.